My Review of 'Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry' by Joya Goffney | Whimsical Soul

⭐ A *very* reluctant 3½ stars

I swear it was the cover that got me reading it. I love books with cartoonish covers. The look that Carter gives Quinn communicated things and, tugged at my heart, and I couldn't wait to read their story.

This book tells us the story of Quinn, a senior in high school, who accidentally misplaces her beloved journal in which she's written down various lists, only to find out that it ended up with the last person she would want to read her journal, Carter. Chaos soon follows when Carter loses the journal too, and it ends up in possession of a vile, manipulative blackmailer whose identity remained a mystery for most of the book. Finally, the blackmailer reveals one of her lists to the whole school and threatens her with exposing her entire journal if she doesn't complete items from one of her to-do lists. This leads to her making new friends, and together they tackle the list, and Quinn steers herself onto a path of self-discovery and realization.

This book started brilliantly with its intriguing characters, the mystery surrounding her journal, the blackmailer, the blossoming love-hate relationship between Quinn and Carter. Still, then it almost felt like I jinxed it with my frenzied thrill at reading a great book after so long. 

This book wouldn't have happened if only Carter had asked the people sitting around him in class if they had the journal he was flipping through moments ago. That was a wasted opportunity. I'm only half kidding.

Keeping true to the format of a to-do list, here are some things I enjoyed about this book and things I didn't:

THINGS I ADORED ABOUT THIS BOOK

1. The hilarious chapter names, um, hello? How cute was that?

2. The to-do lists were pretty relatable. However, I loved that every chapter contained one, and I looked forward to it.

3. The relationship between Quinn and her Grandma Hattie was endearing and sentimental and evoked a sense of longing in me.

4. Carter was pretty straightforward. He does not mince his words and tells it like it is.

5. I loved how it did not portray the main character with a perfect GPA and grades. For once, I wanted to read about a character who struggled in classes, wasn't clear about what she wanted to do with her life, and was flawed.

6. Somewhat funny.

7. I loved Carter and Quinn's banter and their lighthearted romance.

8. This book handled race, prejudice, and consent well.

9. Quinn and Livvy's friendship.

10. I loved the lists Carter made to express regret for his actions; I almost gave this book four stars because of those lists alone. It was a pretty sweet gesture and reminded me of that scene from 'Pride and Prejudice' where Mr. Darcy hands the letter to Elizabeth explaining everything he did and his motivations for doing so.

THINGS I LOATHED ABOUT THIS BOOK: (CONTAINS SPOILERS)

1. This book was pretty dark and was not the lighthearted contemporary it promised to be. For one, anything with blackmailing, bullying shouldn't be categorized as such. 

2. The journal that went missing belonged to a high school senior, for crying out loud. What damning secrets could it possibly contain that would ruin her reputation with hardly two months left for graduation. Why is no one wondering how her lists keep getting out? And I did not understand her reason behind not going to the principal. That's the first thing any rational person would do.

3. Quinn's fear of public humiliation was so intense and outweighed everything else, and it got her following instruction from a blackmailer to preclude her secrets from being made public. Secrets that she wrote down in her journal, a journal that magically got lost, the specifics of which are still unclear to me. What was the journal doing out of Carter's bag in the first place (I later found out why)? How did it change hands and end up where it did.

4. Quinn had trouble believing the fact that anyone besides Carter could be the culprit. A guy she hardly ever talked to before that one time at her house. She didn't suspect for the life of her that her former friends could be involved and let them off the hook too nonchalantly.

5. This book makes it look like it's crazy to write down to-do lists because you keep yourself limited and bottled up by doing so. But in my experience, they can help organize your thoughts and help you think coherently and even facilitate you in accomplishing your goals.

6. Carter was rather mean and bordered on toxic more often than not. His integrity and principles left a lot to be desired.

7. Quinn's Dad.

8. Quinn contradicted herself on many occasions. For example, she was not OK with getting a fake ID but was OK with destroying someone's life's work in a blatant act of vandalism; consequences be damned.

9. Honestly, it felt like I was reading a book about middle-schoolers, the drama, the grudges, the bitching, the smear campaigns, the competition, and the rivalry, and not about seniors who were two months away from graduation.

10. I was confused if the blackmailer was a good/evil person at some point because they helped her get out of her comfort zone and made her do all the things that she would otherwise never have done, which she later contentedly acknowledged.

11. Talking about one's feelings was so one-sided.

“Home is not a place. Home is in here.” She pats her hand over her heart. She says, “Don’t you fear, I’m right here.”

I honestly felt like giving it up, but I'm glad I didn't. It was a pretty wholesome read, although it could've been so much better. I would recommend it to anyone who's into contemporary and young adult fiction.

View all my reviews here 👉 click here